Ya'll, we've got a problem. Mr. Linda has a personal mission. He's apparently been called by the President of the Feline Society to report for duty on Operation Cease and Destroy anything under the height of 4'5 at 1215. Luckily, I'm 4'11. Maddie may or may not make it. Koop is safe so ladies, your tall, sexy drink of water will still be around for your viewing pleasure...but that's all. The rest of him is all mine. ;)
Last week, Maddie and I came home from a leisurely walk downtown to find that one of our fish, Chloe (or Courtney, we aren't really sure), had been treated like a softball and batted down to her untimely death. Glass was everywhere, pebbles spread like butter across the hardwood floor and though we tried CPR (minus the mouth to mouth), fish #1 didn't make it. I tried calling out "Annie, Annie are you ok? Somebody call for help!", but Maddie didn't think it was funny. Nor did Anne Harrison Bromley appear from Charleston to laugh with me OR help with resuscitation. Damn her her leaving me with our long distance relationship. So we cleaned up the mess, gave Mr. Linda a stern talking to and put him in the corner. Unfortunately, he likes corners. Courtney (or Chloe) has been moved to a higher location and hopefully, the 6'3 resident of the house is feeding her since neither of the other two can reach her to supply her with her daily nourishing fin shining ration.
A day or so later, m'lover phoned me at work to inform me that said feline had knocked down Frenchy the Hamster's cage. Somehow, she survived without having a heart attack. Unfortunately, her cage has some bruises. I have pictures, but since I'm lazy, I'll have to post them at a later date. If you have the visual mind that I do, you can imagine this...
...but with rubber bands holding the water bottle to the cage and poor Frenchy's loft blocked off at the top of her tubing. The top is gone and she'd definately be cat food if we allowed her access.
We've moved Frenchy here and there to try to deceive Mr. Linda, but he is staying true to his mission and not backing down. Chris explained to Maddie that him staring into Frenchy's cage would be like a person 87 times it's normal size staring into our living room windows at her. That's when she giggles and for the three seconds he's away from Frenchy, pre-occupied with a foam soccer ball, she picks the cat up and takes him to wherever the hamster's cage is at the time, and lets him peer into the cage sure to be imagining a scene from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Since I'm lazy and didn't post pics, I did a little Google and thought I might find a pic of what our household currently looks like since Mr. Linda's mission began. I was looking for something like Fort Knox for rodents. The first thing I stumbled upon was this.....
How do I stop my pet Hamster from chasing my Cat ?
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
You grab the cat by the back of the head and repeat as many times as it takes "YOU ARE A CAT DAMNIT!!!" Afterwards, hopefully, with a little love, your cat will begin to act like a cat and eat your hamster....sorry, but thats really what they are supposed to do...
j/k I really love animals, and would be devastated if your cat ate your hamster...good luck!!
j/k I really love animals, and would be devastated if your cat ate your hamster...good luck!!
...this made me giggle. It also made me realize that we are just teasing our poor kitten with a Lion King lifestyle. It's the circle of life for crying out loud. WHY WOULDN'T THE CAT WANT TO EAT CHLOE, COURTNEY AND FRENCHY?
So it's just a matter of time before we are down to just one pet, people. And I'm ok with that. That is, until Maddie goes downtown next weekend and wins her annual 102 fish from the carni's. Stay tuned readers. There's sure to be some bloggin' after Bloom 2011! (AL, NO DAIRY IS ALLOWED INTO YOUR PAWS FROM THIS DAY UNTIL MONDAY, MAY 2nd - GOT IT? SOCIETY IS NOT ALLOWED TO SEE OUR PANIC AND FRUSTRATION LIKE THE BLOOM OF 2007!)
jb
